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Chicago Bears

Won vs New York Jets, 23–12 · now 3–1

Say this

“Did you see the Bears on Sunday? Nine minutes sixteen seconds with the ball at the end. Nine minutes!”

If they reply

• “The Bears won, though?”
  “They did, 23–12. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the last drive. Eighteen plays. The Jets never saw the ball again.”
• “Monangai, eh?”
  “A hundred and forty-six yards and both touchdowns. Thirty carries. The man was the offence.”
• “Bagent threw an interception.”
  “One, in the second quarter. He also threw for 268 yards, which nobody will mention, because they’d rather talk about the one.”

If you’re stuck

“The thing about the Bears is they would rather run it from the one on fourth down than kick. They did it twice in the first quarter, and it only worked once.”

Bluff difficulty: 2/5 — Easy. Say “Monangai” with confidence.

A parody. Not affiliated with the NFL, any team, or any television programme.