« Back to the Fri 9 Oct 2026 issue

Pittsburgh Steelers

Not played yet · now 2–2

Say this

“The Steelers have the Colts at home on Sunday. Two and two. I’d call that a team still making up its mind.”

If they reply

• “Steelers and Colts on Sunday.”
  “One o’clock, at home. Two and two going in, which is the most honest record in football: it admits nothing.”
• “Anything happen with the Steelers this week?”
  “Nothing that counts. Only Tampa Bay and Dallas have played since Monday, and neither of them is Pittsburgh.”

If you’re stuck

“The thing about the Steelers is two and two is what you’d get by tossing a coin, so Sunday is really about the coin.”

Bluff difficulty: 1/5 — Nothing happened. Say “Colts on Sunday” and look busy.

A parody. Not affiliated with the NFL, any team, or any television programme.