Chicago Bears

Lost at Green Bay Packers, 7–31 · now 3–2

Say this

“Five turnovers at Lambeau. Five. Two of them on fourth down, which takes a sort of genius.”

If they reply

“31–7. Ouch.”
“The seven was a one-yard Swift run on fourth down just before half-time. After that, nothing. Not a point in the second half.”
“Bagent threw two picks.”
“Both to the same man, McKinney. And by the fourth quarter Keenum was throwing, and he added an interception in the end zone and a fumble on a sack.”
“They’re still 3–2, mind.”
“They are. So are the Packers. Same record, and nobody believes it about either of them.”

If you’re stuck

“The thing about the Bears is they will go for it on fourth down from anywhere. Four tries in the second half: one worked, one was intercepted, one was fumbled and one fell incomplete.”

Bluff difficulty: 5/5 — Brutal. Agree with everything and mention the weather.

A parody. Not affiliated with the NFL, any team, or any television programme.