If you only read one thing
- Bears · Lost 7–31 at Packers“Five turnovers at Lambeau. Five. Two of them on fourth down, which takes a sort of genius.”
- Packers · Won 31–7 vs Bears“Did you see Lambeau on Sunday? Thirty-one to seven over the Bears, and the kicker still missed three times.”
- Steelers · Won 34–22 vs Colts“Did you see the Steelers? The Colts kick a 57-yard field goal, and twelve seconds later Jaylen Warren has scored from 80 yards.”
How it works: Find your team. Say the opener. Nod at whatever comes back, then read out the matching answer. If it goes badly, fall back on the thing about them and look into the middle distance. Three teams this week, ordered by kickoff.
Chicago Bears — Phrasebook
CHIlogo
Bears 7, Packers 31Lost at Green Bay Packers · Lambeau Field, Green Bay · Sun 11 Oct, 1:00 PM ET · now 3–2
GBlogo| Team | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | T |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| CHI Bears | 0 | 7 | 0 | 0 | 7 |
| GB Packers | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 31 |
| THE OPENER | “Five turnovers at Lambeau. Five. Two of them on fourth down, which takes a sort of genius.” |
|---|---|
| IF THEY REPLY |
|
| THE THING ABOUT THE BEARS IS… | “…they will go for it on fourth down from anywhere. Four tries in the second half: one worked, one was intercepted, one was fumbled and one fell incomplete.” |
| IF PRESSED | Chicago lost 31–7 at Green Bay to fall to 3–2, and turned the ball over five times. Green Bay intercepted Bagent twice, and in the fourth quarter Case Keenum was intercepted in the end zone on fourth down and lost a fumble on a sack, with another fumble after a catch in between. The only Chicago touchdown was D’Andre Swift’s one-yard run on fourth down with 1:53 left in the first half, and Cairo Santos missed a 43-yard field goal in the third quarter. Jordan Love threw for 367 yards against them. |
| KEY PLAYS Jargon explained » |
|
| BLUFF DIFFICULTY | 5/5 — Brutal. Agree with everything and mention the weather. |
Next game: at Atlanta Falcons, Sun 18 Oct, 1:00 PM ET
At Atlanta next Sunday. Nobody will mention this one by then. Probably. Link to this card
Green Bay Packers — Phrasebook
GBlogo
Packers 31, Bears 7Won vs Chicago Bears · Lambeau Field, Green Bay · Sun 11 Oct, 1:00 PM ET · now 3–2
CHIlogo| Team | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | T |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| CHI Bears | 0 | 7 | 0 | 0 | 7 |
| GB Packers | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 31 |
| THE OPENER | “Did you see Lambeau on Sunday? Thirty-one to seven over the Bears, and the kicker still missed three times.” |
|---|---|
| IF THEY REPLY |
|
| THE THING ABOUT THE PACKERS IS… | “…they only miss kicks when it can’t possibly matter. Smack missed three on Sunday, and they won by twenty-four.” |
| IF PRESSED | Green Bay beat Chicago 31–7 at Lambeau Field to go 3–2. Jordan Love completed 25 of 31 passes for 367 yards, with touchdowns of 42 and 53 yards to Christian Watson, who caught six for 143, and MarShawn Lloyd ran in two more, the second followed by a two-point pass to Matthew Golden. The defence forced five turnovers, two of them interceptions by McKinney. Trey Smack kicked a 35-yard field goal but missed an extra point and attempts from 43 and 47 yards. |
| KEY PLAYS Jargon explained » |
|
| BLUFF DIFFICULTY | 1/5 — Easy. Everyone in green is happy. Don’t bring up the kicker. |
Next game: vs Dallas Cowboys, Sun 18 Oct, 8:20 PM ET
The Cowboys at home next Sunday night. Somebody will bring up the kicker. Link to this card
Pittsburgh Steelers — Phrasebook
PITlogo
Steelers 34, Colts 22Won vs Indianapolis Colts · Acrisure Stadium, Pittsburgh · Sun 11 Oct, 1:00 PM ET · now 3–2
INDlogo| Team | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | T |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| IND Colts | 6 | 7 | 6 | 3 | 22 |
| PIT Steelers | 7 | 10 | 7 | 10 | 34 |
| THE OPENER | “Did you see the Steelers? The Colts kick a 57-yard field goal, and twelve seconds later Jaylen Warren has scored from 80 yards.” |
|---|---|
| IF THEY REPLY |
|
| THE THING ABOUT THE STEELERS IS… | “…they like a tight end in a crisis. Freiermuth took a direct snap on fourth down and caught two of the three touchdown passes.” |
| IF PRESSED | Pittsburgh beat Indianapolis 34–22 at Acrisure Stadium to go 3–2, and led from 8:45 of the first quarter onwards. Aaron Rodgers completed 22 of 31 passes for 235 yards and three touchdowns, an 80-yarder to Jaylen Warren and two to Pat Freiermuth, and Warren added a 50-yard touchdown run to finish with 101 rushing yards and 87 receiving. The Colts’ Spencer Shrader kicked five field goals, from 57, 56, 22, 40 and 28 yards, and Tyler Warren ran in their only touchdown on fourth down. Chris Boswell added a 54-yard field goal with 3:43 left, and Indianapolis turned the ball over on downs twice in the last five minutes. |
| KEY PLAYS Jargon explained » |
|
| BLUFF DIFFICULTY | 2/5 — Easy. There are two Warrens; you want Jaylen. |
Next game: at Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Sun 18 Oct, 1:00 PM ET
At Tampa Bay next Sunday. Have the Warrens straight by then. Link to this card
Elsewhere in the League
| SFlogo SEAlogo | 49ers 32, Seahawks 29 San Francisco beat Seattle 32–29 on Eddy Pineiro’s 44-yard field goal at 1:56, in a game with seven turnovers.“Seattle’s Jason Myers kicked five field goals and lost. So did the Colts’ kicker. I sense a theme.”Q4 1:56 Eddy Pineiro 44 Yd Field Goal |
| JAXlogo PHIlogo | Jaguars 19, Eagles 17 In London, Jake Elliott put Philadelphia ahead with eight seconds left, then Cam Little won it for Jacksonville from 57 yards.“Eight seconds. Long enough to celebrate, not long enough to finish celebrating.”Q4 0:00 Cam Little 57 Yd Field Goal |
| WSHlogo NYGlogo | Commanders 27, Giants 27 The Giants and Commanders drew 27–27 after a scoreless overtime; New York had been 27–13 down with 11:05 left.“A draw. Very civilised. Nobody knows what to say about one, so say nothing.”Q4 1:43 Malik Nabers 17 Yd pass from Jameis Winston (Dominic Zvada Kick) |
| MINlogo NOlogo | Vikings 23, Saints 13 Jonas Sanker returned a fumble 87 yards to tie it for New Orleans, the extra point missed, and Minnesota went on to win 23–13.“Eighty-seven yards and still only level. The extra point is a very cruel invention.”Q3 2:34 Jonas Sanker 87 Yd Fumble Return (Daniel Carlson PAT Failed) |
| NYJlogo CLElogo | Jets 17, Browns 12 Cleveland led 12–10 until an aborted punt at their own 42; the Jets scored a minute later and won 17–12.“The one play where nobody is meant to do anything, and somebody did something.”Q4 4:01 (Punt formation) C.Bojorquez FUMBLES (Aborted) at CLV 42, touched at CLV 28, RECOVERED by NYJ-T.Wallace at CLV 23. |
Today's Poll
Did you see that ludicrous display last night?
All the Scores
- Eagles 17, Jaguars 19
- Bengals 31, Dolphins 24
- Browns 12, Jets 17
- Texans 26, Titans 3
- Colts 22, Steelers 34
- Raiders 17, Patriots 45
- Vikings 23, Saints 13
- Giants 27, Commanders 27 OT
- Bears 7, Packers 31
- Broncos 23, Chargers 17
- Lions 45, Cardinals 21
- 49ers 32, Seahawks 29
Archive
- Mon 12 Oct · Week 5
Bears give it away five times; Packers miss three kicks, win by 24; two Warrens, one Steeler. - Fri 9 Oct · Week 5
No Bears, Packers or Steelers this time; Bears at Packers on Sunday. Tampa Bay win at last. - Tue 6 Oct · Week 4
Steelers lose to a 56-yard kick; Bears keep the ball for 9:16; Packers win, nobody pleased.
Visitors
004817
since 15 Sep 2026
since 15 Sep 2026