« Back to the Mon 12 Oct 2026 issue
Pittsburgh Steelers
Won vs Indianapolis Colts, 34–22 · now 3–2
Say this
“Did you see the Steelers? The Colts kick a 57-yard field goal, and twelve seconds later Jaylen Warren has scored from 80 yards.”
If they reply
- “Rodgers looked sharp.”“Twenty-two of thirty-one, three touchdowns, and nobody on the other side caught one. I’d frame that.”
- “Jaylen Warren, though.”“A hundred and one yards running, eighty-seven catching, two touchdowns. Not to be confused with Tyler Warren, who plays for the Colts and also scored. A very confusing afternoon for the announcer.”
- “The Colts kept it close for a while.”“Within two at 24–22 with 11:42 left. Then Freiermuth scored, and the Colts went for it on fourth down three times and missed twice.”
If you’re stuck
“The thing about the Steelers is they like a tight end in a crisis. Freiermuth took a direct snap on fourth down and caught two of the three touchdown passes.”
Bluff difficulty: 2/5 — Easy. There are two Warrens; you want Jaylen.
A parody. Not affiliated with the NFL, any team, or any television programme.